|
|
Katherine’s family had invited me for supper. The husband had died just a few months earlier, and Katherine was at table with her six children—four of her own and two adopted. The children belonged to three racial groups. Just as we sat down, and I thought we were going to say grace and start supper, Katherine turned to one of her sons and said, “Peter, today, it is your turn to start.” Start what, I was wondering within myself. Peter paused, and then spoke: “I am glad I met a good friend of mine today.” Then, each of the children mentioned something they had experienced during the day, for which they were grateful. At the end, Katherine herself mentioned an experience of the day for which she was thankful. Next, she turned to me and explained: “Every evening, when we sit down for supper, each of us recalls something from what happened during the day for which we are grateful.” That meeting happened thirteen years ago. I have forgotten most of the talks I have heard since then, and most of what I have read or much of what I myself have taught. But I remember that evening very vividly. They did not sit down to complain about the day, or pity themselves for their father’s recent death (from cancer), or gossip about others. No, each of them had something beautiful to recall every evening. What a lovely way to conclude the day and start the evening meal! * * * Another
person from whom I have learned much about the meaning of thankfulness
is Brother David Steindl-Rast. He was trained in psychology and fine
arts in his native Austria, and then went to the United States, where he
now lives as a monk, and a much sought after public speaker. I had read
his book, Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer, in which he explains that
gratitude is the greatest and truest source of happiness. But what
struck me much more deeply than this book, is something he shared in a
later work about a practice he has been faithful to for several years.
Here are his own words: * * * Katherine or Brother David are not necessarily more gifted or more blessed than the rest of us, but they seem to have learned a secret of happiness we can all learn from: to notice the blessings all around us, to be alert to experiences of goodness and love, and take time to express our thanks. Aren’t we normally blind and deaf to the much love and goodness around us, unmindful of our many blessings (the eyesight that makes reading possible, hands that hold this magazine and much else, legs and lungs, memory and humour, and the support of so many to count on…)? Who can even to begin to list the priceless treasures that no amount of money or worry could have procured us? * * * Gratitude
has little to do with how relatively easy or difficult one’s life is.
Some of those who have been dealt a tough hand by providence are much
more grateful than others who have had an easier time. I once asked a
man I admired very much how he managed to survive ill-treatment by his
older brothers and humiliating hardships without becoming bitter. His
simple (and surprising) reply was: “I have always felt that I received
much more than I deserved.” He had no complaints, nor did he seek pity
or compliments. In fact, he reached out to help the very people who had
once made his life very difficult. These are the persons who can give us
a hint or two about how to be happy without waiting for the world or
other people to be perfect. * * * next ► |
|
|
|
||
