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-  Youth Workers Resource Book - 

How to give Feedback

Don’t you remember the encouraging word or gesture from your parents or teachers that made a world of difference to you? There are words that you still remember after years.

1. An experience of being encouraged
   Close your eyes.
   Recall an experience of being encouraged or appreciated. What was the occasion?
   What was said to you?
   How did you feel then?
   How do you feel now, as you relive the experience?
   (Group sharing, if there is a group)
    

2. An experience of being corrected
   Next, recall a correction you received, which has helped you over the years. It may have been painful when you received it. But you are a better person because of it. Relive the experience.
   What was the occasion?
   What was said to you?
   How did you feel then?
   How do you feel now, as you relive the experience?
   (Group sharing, if there is a group)
   
   It is your privilege as a teacher or youth group animator that you can provide such life-giving experiences to many others. And you can do it at a stage in their lives when they are particularly receptive.
    

3. An experience of encouraging someone
   Recall an experience in which you encouraged a younger person. What was the occasion?
   What did you say or do?
   What was the outcome?
   (Group sharing, if there is a group)
    

4. An experience of giving a correction
   Now, recall an experience in which you corrected a young person. What was the occasion?
   What did you say or do?
   What was the outcome?
   
   Both encouragement and correction are included in the term “Feedback”. It means letting a person know how his/her behaviour comes across to you. You see aspects or effects of it which the person himself/herself may not be aware of.
   
   As a teacher or youth leader, you often give feedback. The following guidelines can help you to give feedback in a more helpful manner.
   
   1. Be positive: Many of us make the mistake of giving feedback only when something goes wrong. People are dying to hear that they are doing well. Tell them so, if that is true! Don’t we all like a word of appreciation after we have done something well? Does it not make us more confident, more enthusiastic? If this is true of all of us, it is ten times more so in the case of adolescents, who are, after all, far more insecure than grown-ups.
   
   2. Be specific: A specific, concrete feedback, such as, “Your voice could not be heard at the back” or “When you teased me, I felt hurt,” or “Your presence brought much joy to the sick person” is more helpful than generic comments, such as, “You are a poor speaker” or “You are talented.”
   
   3. Be consistent: Do not praise a student for one thing today (e.g., for cracking jokes) and reprimand him/her for the same thing another day, just because you happen to be irritated.
   
   4. Be impartial: This is self-evident. Praise and reprimand need to be given to anyone who behaves in a particular way. And the students should be able to see that you are impartial.
   
   5. Do not attack or humiliate: Attacks make a person defensive. Rather than think of correcting oneself, the person who feels attacked will be hunting for excuses.
   
   6. Do not attribute bad intentions, even when you show disapproval of an action: It is one thing to say “Geeta, you did not pass the ball, even when the other players were free; perhaps you are not aware of it”. It is quite another to say (or to shout), “You, there! Can’t you think a little more of others? When will you stop thinking only about yourself?”
   
   7. Do not blame (or much less humiliate) a student for lack of talent or for physical defects. This is cruel and mean, and the student can turn irreparably bitter. Who likes to be laughed at for not being able to sing (or get high marks or play basketball)—or because of one’s height or complexion or looks?
   
   One sentence summary:
   Youngsters are more sensitive and more insecure than they look. While you need to demand and to correct, use a large dose of encouragement. In case of doubt, say the nicest thing you can think of (honestly, of course) and leave the hard word unsaid.
   
   May your students say to you in their hearts,
   
   “You came into my life.
   You cared;
   you understood;
   and I became me”.
    

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